Fearless

I wish people listened. I wish they would understand the issues. I wish they weren't so closed-minded. I wish people could be happier. I wish you didn't hate it at Duke. I wish we could somehow change your mind. I wish we didn't have to be afraid to walk home alone at night. I wish your gender didn't just see us as "angry feminists." I wish we were all equal, and not some more equal than others. I wish we saw culture and not color. I wish this wasn't an extrovert world. I wish people didn't feel so alone. I wish the magic didn't disappear. I wish it were sunny outside more often. I wish it were sunny inside more often. I wish the world could run without political manipulation. I wish punctuality were a life or death situation. I wish everyone had a way to express themselves. I wish there were more time to do things. I wish people weren't so ignorant. I wish people didn't expect me to be an extrovert. I wish things clicked between the right...

Some thoughts I had over break. Written on my new Blogger app for the Android woooo so much drainage of battery life!  Are you ever curious about something or wonder about something but never actually try to figure it out until it's too late? Let me explain my ineloquent question with an example. We just passed a sign on the other side of the road that we were facing the back of. I was wondering what it said. I wanted to know what it said but I didn't want to lift my head off the window to look at it. We passed and I never knew what it said. And it kinda bothers me that I'll probably never know what that sign said. Na mean? I just regret not turning around to look at it. I know it sounds dumb, but this seems to happen with me a lot. This year I've done a lot more things that I don't think I would've done before just because I don't want to regret not having at least tried them. Tried out for a play. Become more straightforward, more open. Been in a relati...

Things are getting busy again. Spring break is like, less than two weeks away. I'm pretty happy. I'm super happy. The only thing that makes me not happy is my prospective orgo grade, but that doesn't really matter in the long run, right? Let me tell you first what I did this weekend. A couple of friends and I went to University of Georgia to perform in the UGA India Night show. Indeed, I speak of Duke DHOOOM. It was a wonderful experience, especially for my first time going on one of these, drive a bunch and get to some place and stay at some random Days Inn and perform and have fun and come back, kind of things. It was awesome. Bonding time with the team, getting to know things about people that I would've never guessed, understanding the dynamics of the group and feeling like I'd accomplished something that wasn't academic. I don't think I've had that kind of feeling in a while. Honestly, I haven't even had the academic feeling in a while. But t...

Today in the Chronicle, Duke's daily newspaper, I read a column by Sony Rao called "Why we should date." She's a senior at Duke and pretty much asserts that you should get practice dating because your first few might be icky, but getting through those will get you to the good one(s). She talks about how Duke's hook up culture sucks (it does) and how starting dating as a senior isn't a terrible thing because 1) you never know who you might hit it off with and 2) it's good practice for the future if it doesn't work out. One of the lines directly from her that made me laugh out loud literally was "And I'm not quite sure yet, but it's probably a bad idea to learn the basics of dating when you're 28 and your mother gives you a three-month ultimatum before she looks for your future husband in India." Before coming to Duke, there were two conflicting ideas that I had in my mind. One was that I really didn't want to be single anym...

"You know what your problem is, Q?  You keep expecting people not to be themselves." Paper Towns, John Green Sometimes this is just the excuse for, I just don't want to change. It's a cop out. I'm being myself. Stop trying to change me. There's no way at all for me to solve my problems so stop trying. " I just want to have intellectual conversation with you. Because I care about you and I want to know what you think about certain things. You fascinate me, but I feel like it's such a battle just to get to know you and break through this fortress you've built around your innermost thoughts and feelings. I want to talk to you about literature and philosophy and the world and people and the future and the past and how scary and wonderful it all is. But maybe you're just not interested. And maybe I'll just have to learn to settle." some anon person on Duke Confess Don't I know it. I feels so much. Once about a year ago I did bre...

Here's something that I think I learned about myself today. When I was younger, I never took risks. Younger as in like, high school. I always made decisions that involved one right choice that made everyone happy and a wrong choice that made no one happy. If that wasn't true about something, I wouldn't get into the situation that made me choose. And now, now that we're older, now that we have more opinions, now that we understand more, I'm starting to take more risks. Decisions aren't black and white anymore. I don't know whether something will be good or bad for me and most certainly everyone doesn't feel the same way about decisions that we make anymore. I know, I know, they say, who cares what other people think? You should do what's right for you. Yeah. Okay. But what if I don't know what's right for me? What if my logic fails to give me an answer? What do I do then? Well, before the answer was to just stay away from anything that could ...

I need the world to tell me that it's okay. That my life won't be put to waste. You know how I've been saying it's nice not having distractions from school work? Well, sometimes, it'd be nice to have something else to think about, too. Sometimes I just don't know where to go. i feel like when something bad happens like this all that happiness that i've had for these past few weeks will just drown in it and i'll relapse into being sad about being alone and about being not as good as everyone here ): you are AWESOME you are never alone because you always have your friends with you and you are one of the smartestest people i know you are also kinda very beautiful BUT THAT'S BESIDES THE POINT Fuck everything. Hard work brings success. Bullshit. Nope, I'm fine, don't worry about me. I just overreact sometimes I guess. But like not even though. I ordered Indian food and it makes me miss home. I wish I was just still at...