Fearless

Some thoughts I had over break. Written on my new Blogger app for the Android woooo so much drainage of battery life! 

Are you ever curious about something or wonder about something but never actually try to figure it out until it's too late? Let me explain my ineloquent question with an example. We just passed a sign on the other side of the road that we were facing the back of. I was wondering what it said. I wanted to know what it said but I didn't want to lift my head off the window to look at it. We passed and I never knew what it said. And it kinda bothers me that I'll probably never know what that sign said. Na mean? I just regret not turning around to look at it. I know it sounds dumb, but this seems to happen with me a lot. This year I've done a lot more things that I don't think I would've done before just because I don't want to regret not having at least tried them. Tried out for a play. Become more straightforward, more open. Been in a relationship. Even if they may not have ended up the way I wanted, I don't regret any of it. And I think that's the best way to live life, right? (:

You know what's strange? So you know, it comes to me fairly easily to understand dynamics of a friend group or people's general personalities and what not. Like, I can usually understand what's going on just by observing others. The one group of people that I just can't understand though is my family. You would think after spending 18 years with them, I'd understand how they work, but nope. They're so difficult for some reason. Maybe it is because I've spent 18 years with them. I can't understand why my mom finds wrong in everything I do. I can't understand why my sister gets so cranky all the time (well, I guess puberty is hitting, but even before that. well, I guess she was a kid. okay maybe I get this one.). Why my dad is able to be so unbiased. Na mean?

Aren't there memories you have sometimes that you wish you could just lose? But then there are the ones you don't want to lose also. And when these are memories that can't be captured by a camera, that are resistant to immortalization, it's really hard to remember them fully. You forget the little details of everything that happened, you can only remember the title of the event and not the actual script and footnotes and feelings. The feelings fade. And that can be both a good thing and bad thing. Sometimes we need that to happen and sometimes we wish it wouldn't, but there's no way to really stop it except reliving it, is there?

Spring break was wonderful. I didn't rest very much and I got sick again but I had a lot of fun and experienced the Disney magic for a second year in a row. The only disappointment: Flynn Rider wasn't in the Celebrate a Dream Come True parade. Not cool. He wasn't even there for photos! But I got my Jasmine/Aladdin photo and thus my trip was successful. Being at Disney is magical, I'm not sure it's possible to explain in words what I mean though. But if you've been there, you know. It's not even that it makes me feel like a kid again, I can just appreciate it all with a different level of understanding. It's not just fairytales and songs anymore, though that's always lots of fun! I dunno, I feel like the message is simple: make wishes. the dream that you wish will come true. yada yada. In other words: set goals. work hard and you can achieve those goals. yada yada. It makes sense. Yes, a lot of what Disney tells us is absolute fluff and is purely for kids to make their parents spend money, but I'll allow myself to believe that Walt Disney's original intent was pure. And I don't know how knowing that can't make you happy. (: Anyways, here are some of my favorite moments/photos from my spring break 2013. :D




Aladdin <3

Also I bought a mickey mouse snapback. Woooo!


It was a lot easier over break to collect my thoughts and my feelings, even though I was busy doing stuff most of the time. I think being away from school for a while was probably a good thing because then you know that the world around you is still turning and you're not trapped in the Duke bubble. Plus, it's hard to think at school when the air is crowded with the thoughts of people who are thinking the exact same thing as you. Getting out at least means people are thinking about things like happiness and excitement rather than orgo, engineering and sleepless delirium, na mean? Sigh.

Okay, now I think it's finally time to get working. Finally. I'll get some lab stuff done and I should be good for a couple days, right? Right. And it's back to the old routine. Woo. A month and a half left. Let's do this.

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One Response so far.

  1. James Wu says:

    GET ALL DA SNAPBACKSSS!!! WUUUUUUUU-HOOOOOOO :DD

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