Fearless

Happy almost mother's day hooraay! Let's spend only one day celebrating how important our mothers are to us instead of all 365 days of the year!

That was sarcasm, did you get that?

But actually, mother's day is good. It gives my mom two days of the year to go on about how important she is in our lives and for us to chuckle and agree with her, the other being her birthday of course. Here's my present to my mother this year.


Bas aap yaad rakho ki mein jitni bhi door chali jaoon, hamesha aap ki nanhi pari rahoongi.
Just remember that no matter how far I go, I'll always be your little girl. 

Not a direct translation, but that's pretty much what it means.

So that's a origami card with sentimental Hindi written inside that I hope makes her cry and a bouquet of origami flowers. The Hindi took me a couple hours because I just learned the basics of writing a few days ago from my grandma. Writing something useful with my newfound knowledge was definitely a good way to practice though! I had my grandma proofread afterwards aha. She expects a lot because I didn't get her anything for her birthday or anniversary. Woops. So I'm making up for it by sending her to dinner with my dad next weekend. Whenever I have to pay for something: "I have a credit card!" Too bad it's not even really my money.

The summer is going well so far. I mean, it's been less than a week, but the five days at home went by pretty quickly. I think it'll be quick. I've secured an internship/shadowing sorta thing and I'm going to talk to the lady about either instructing or performing for the dance school my sister goes to. Gotta stay busy. But the stuff I was worried about has already stopped worrying me. I really think it was a late night one time thing. And I think I argued with my parents that night so that explains that. My dad is back from his business trip in Vegas and ima go watch The Great Gatsby/Ironman 3 with him and my sister tomorrow. It'll be a good time. I want to bond with my family this summer and show them that I'm not just going to disappear from their lives. I wish it wasn't so difficult to convince people of that. I wish it wasn't so hard for me to be convinced of that. It'd definitely make me less of a cynic and constantly paranoid at some level.

I can feel myself changing. I can feel myself learning. The way I speak is changing. Am I maturing? Influenced by others, yeah. You tend to become the people you're around. I'm hanging out with the right people, I believe that. Am I maturing? Slowly but surely. It's strange how I have convinced myself that I will not stay the way that I am now forever unlike back in high school when I thought that the feelings I felt would last forever. They're all experiences to learn from. But it's kind of scary, don't you think? When we thought back then that how we felt about others would never change, told ourselves things would always stay the way that they were in the present, at least there was some sort of security. Of course that's not always a good thing, especially when you're trying to forget. But now, now that I know that we are changing everyday, I feel no security. And no, I'm not afraid of change, but I am. Of that certain type of change. Changes in the way that we feel? Paranoia. I hope the way that we feel stays the same. 

It's a wonder how you can make me smile so much from so far away.

Yeah, I'm making absolutely no sense, gonna go watch a chick flick now. 

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2 Responses so far.

  1. aww i make you smile?! so sweet :D Hope someone isn't jealous :D

  2. Sonal says:

    hahahaa naaah defffinitely meant you darling <3

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