Fearless

T-minus 9 days to Duke. I am so ready.

Exactly 4 months ago, an amazing guy asked me out. I'm super excited to see him in 15 days as well(:

This week I've spent in New Jersey, the place I've lived in for almost my entire life until it was unwillingly ripped away from me when Dell decided to give my dad a job in redneck Texas. Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating. South Jersey is a beautiful place, though many of you may not agree because you've never actually been here and have been instead misled by pop culture and generalizations. You can go read all those Jersey buzzfeed posts. Being back in Jersey was surreal; I felt like I was returning somewhere familiar in a dream and it all passed by with a blur. I don't know what it is about nostalgia that does that to us. 

There were very few people I wanted to see when I visited in the first place. I realized that the friends that were close were few and even they were busy with their ambitions this summer. The few people that I wanted to see when I originally planned to come dropped to fewer when I began to recognize who really cared to keep these high school friendships and who did not. I guess this recognition is one good thing that came out of this trip. I'm not really sure what I was expecting from coming here, whether it was just to catch up with old friends or get hugs or reminisce, but I did all of it and I can't decide whether the trip was successful. Senior year of high school, I was so ready to get out. It's not like I really expected to keep in touch with very many people from high school; we all go into college and live with other people and our lives go on. Honestly, as long as I have my two or three closest, I don't need anyone else. I'll see you guys at high school reunion. Maybe.

I ate a warm slice of chocolate cake today. It was delicious.

I don't know if it's worth it for me to come to Jersey again just to see three people. I wish that I could feel and definitively say that it was, but I'm really not sure. I guess it's time for everyone to come visit me in Texxxas. 

Sometimes I think I feel too much. I need to work on these insecurities and overthinking and bad at confrontation and first impressions stuff. I thought I was done with it, but apparently not. Don't you ever think that over-analyzing things is fun sometimes? Speculation lets you use your imagination and put pieces together pretending that they fit even if they really don't. 

Okay I go now byebyes.

P.S. But really, everyone I did see, I loved seeing you <33 Proceeds to share photos.

 + Joanna, but we didn't get to take a selfie ): She made me delicious cookies and I love her <333

Categories: ,

One Response so far.

  1. Joanna Ma says:

    I love you so much Sonal! It was amazing seeing you and playing tennis again with you! I always feel so happy and relaxed when I play tennis with you and you're the best doubles partner I could've ever asked for and we make an awesome team! Dream team #2!! Woo! I love you!!!

    PS - I'm glad you enjoyed the cookies hehe <3

Leave a Reply