Fearless

I'm sometimes not sure if I want to grow up faster or I don't want to grow up at all. It's not like I'm not enjoying the time that I have at college, because trust me, I'm enjoying it to the max. Sometimes it just feels like the perks of being older are so close but so far away. I want to be old enough that my parents will take the decisions I make completely seriously. I want to be old enough that I have an academic and social life set for me. And it sounds really hypocritical, but I am very much enjoying the process to get there, college is great. Sometimes I wish I was already at the result. I wish my brain was fully mature so they believed me when I talked about how a great of a guy he is and how we're really good together. I mean, the dorsolateral prefrontal cortex that determines our sophisticated behavior is pretty much fully matured at around age 20, and okay I'm not there yet, but he's there, he's almost 20. If you think about it neurologically, we should be able to know what we're doing at this point. I shouldn't have to wait until I'm 22 because not much will change about me between now and then. You know I've always been a little more mature than my age, so can't that apply here too? I wish I could unconvince myself that you're always right because maybe this time I am. That's always an option right? So why do I doubt myself so much?

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