Fearless

I think one of the hardest things for us to do is to be truly honest with ourselves. Sometimes I'll try to sit down with the sole purpose of allowing myself to just take it like it is, but even when you do that, it's hard to not suppress the feelings and facts of yourself that you wish weren't true. It's really easy to convince yourself that something about you is true in order to make it work with what you want or what others want of you, but isn't it better that we face the truth early rather than let our lives continue with lies? It's ironic how I always want others to be brutally honest with me but I can't do the same for myself, but that's also true of a lot of things. Sometimes I'd say it's the fact that we're really afraid to confront the truth and make a change to act on it, and I am plenty guilty of that. Even as I say this and know that some of the decisions I've made are due to familial pressure or personal desire, I'm sti...

This week is the first week in a really long time, maybe ever, that I have literally nothing to do. I've watched at least 30 episodes of Friends in the past three days and felt like an absolute potato. So tomorrow I'm going to man up and go make some food and run a little and clean my room and stuff. It sucks that everyone is busy the week I'm just sitting around. I've still been just been by myself all day, even though the weather is beautiful. I just don't know what to do with myself. The past couple months more than ever I've felt multiple occasions of the sentiment towards multiple people that goes, "Wow, you really fucked this up for me. You've sucked the enjoyment out of something I love because of the way you've handled it. Thanks a lot." Unfortunately, you can't say this to people because it is socially unacceptable and will often end your relationships with them.  The great hopes and plans and the fun I remember from last year...