Fearless

I don't know if there's a word for that feeling you get when you can't decide if something feels good or bad or right or wrong. You know that you feel something, but can't decide emotionally if it's good or bad. I mean, sure, you can analyze it and look at the pros and the cons and ultimately make a decision for or against, but it's hard to figure out what exactly it is that you simply feel. Sometimes when things become different than they were, it can be good but also feel sad or nostalgic. I experienced this when I visited Jersey to see my friends this summer. My interactions and conversations with some of them felt much different than before, but for a good reason: I had changed as a person, as I'm sure they did as well, by becoming more secure in the person that I am, not questioning my inherent personality because of what others have to say about it. Still, having things be different than they used to is sad because I still had great times and I'm ...

So it's been two days since classes have restarted and a week and three days since I've gotten back to school. Clearly I've been having so much fun that I didn't have time to blog. This year is definitely going to be much busier than last year, I'm already overwhelmed by dates and times and places that I need to remember to go to. I need to find a better system to keep track of all of it. I think it's time to start using Google Calendar.  It's going to start again where after every post I say that I should really be doing homework rather than writing the post. Except this year it won't be orgo, it'll be Chinese or multi. And this is in fact the main reason it will be an even better year than last year. I kid. It will also be better because I know where to find my opportunities and how to keep busy and the good study spots and my friend groups are set and I don't have to take the bus as much and I know much more about time management and I ...

So as I'm sure you've noticed at this point, I recently underwent a website makeover in the span of a night. I found new templates on this site for Blogger and I love the very minimalistic, photoblogging based themes. Photos just make everything better, so I picked something that was very photo friendly, even though I don't really photoblog. The changing background is filled with some of my favorite shots that I've taken/of me and my intent is that you could go click on that Home button, just stare at the screen for about 15 seconds, and feel a handful of different emotions in that span of time. The photos make me feel all these very different emotions because of the colors, the settings, and the memories that I have attached to them. It's pretty cool to just sit back and watch and feel yourself feel, you know? Otherwise, I think it's all still pretty easy to navigate, you just click on the blog link on the side and it's pretty much the same as always. Fun...

T-minus 9 days to Duke. I am so ready. Exactly 4 months ago, an amazing guy asked me out. I'm super excited to see him in 15 days as well(: This week I've spent in New Jersey, the place I've lived in for almost my entire life until it was unwillingly ripped away from me when Dell decided to give my dad a job in redneck Texas. Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating. South Jersey is a beautiful place, though many of you may not agree because you've never actually been here and have been instead misled by pop culture and generalizations. You can go read all those Jersey buzzfeed posts. Being back in Jersey was surreal; I felt like I was returning somewhere familiar in a dream and it all passed by with a blur. I don't know what it is about nostalgia that does that to us.  There were very few people I wanted to see when I visited in the first place. I realized that the friends that were close were few and even they were busy with their ambitions this summer. The few peo...