Fearless

"It’s impossible to understand real pain unless you've experienced it yourself." - The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle  Yeah. True. You can only try to understand. What's frustrating is when people get mad that you don't understand them. Sure, I'd feel really bad if I hurt someone unintentionally or if someone was hurt, but if they got mad at you about it, that would make me just a little bit angry. Gah, don't listen to me, I'm just bitter about things. I know this is true, I don't understand others' real pain sometimes, but I try my hardest to console and to find solutions. I'm trying. Don't flip shit at me. Goddamn. Hardly anyone in this world ever wants to accept that they might be wrong. I won't say I'm not guilty of it, but at least I want to hear what people have to say. It's fine. We do what we can with the resources that we have. What's done is done. Sometimes I feel like I'm mature enough to handle things, but w...

I'm so happy with life. My birthday was on Sunday. My friends threw me a surprise party at 1:30 am. I love them so much. My roommate told me we were going to watch Andrew Garfield -- I mean, the Amazing Spiderman -- in Carr (building with open classrooms and big projectors) with Howard and our other friend was there too. I watched Andrew Garfield, squealed a bunch, Howard just gave me looks the whole time, and then about 2/3 into the movie, my roommate goes out and comes back in with a ton of people and a cheesecake and balloons and a gift bag. So. Sweet. All of them. I died. It didn't feel much different to be turning 18, but everyone joked about how all of the 17 year old jokes would have to go now that I was a big girl. I don't feel automatically older; I still feel like a kid. I've always been way too mature, so that hasn't changed. I think I'll feel older when I turn 20. When I'm not a teenager anymore. 16 is like the teenager rebel age and 18 is lik...

I haven't been in much of a writing mood lately because, strangely, everything in my life seems to be going right. I seem to only write when things are going wrong which shouldn't be the case. If I'm sharing my down moments publicly, it only makes sense to share these happy times, too. I just want to enjoy this time that things are nice and not think about what's to come. However, what's to come is pretty important, too. Like, med school and stuff, you know? Meh.  I think I also haven't written in a while because I haven't had one of "those conversations" with my friends where things get all deep and stuff. My mind has been clear and it's been happy and it's been easy to focus on my priorities. My laze has reduced to a good amount and my constant self-nagging to try new things has finally gotten to me. But let me start at the beginning. Things have started to get going again now that I'm back at Duke. It's been a week exactly a...

I just watched Life of Pi yesterday with my family and I liked it a lot! Though Suraj Sharma wasn't as attractive as everyone said he was, I can't complain. You really have to watch Bollywood movies to know what attractive Indian actors look like. One of the themes that struck me most in Life of Pi was that of loneliness. Can you imagine being stranded in the ocean for so long without anyone else with you for so long? Can you imagine what that would do to you? If Pi hadn't had that tiger with him, I'm pretty positive he would've gone insane. Loneliness does things to you, whether it be literal loneliness or loneliness in the sense of a relationship. I've been through the feels of it and probably so has every person reading this to some degree. Loneliness is interesting; it's good sometimes when you need to get away from everyone, but it's also the cause for so much pain and so much sadness. I know it sounds cliche, but you should know that you are never...

So I hope everyone had a wonderful New Year's Day and day after New Year's Day (what are days after called anyway?) I did pretty much nothing except hang out with my sister a l'il bit and do some orgo and shtuff. But really, the calendar system is just a manmade concept to create order in a world of entropy. But, it's kay, I won't ruin the New Year for you just because I'm bitter about it... (: I'm not actually though. I'm very excited for 2013 and the many new experiences and things that are to come! As a heads up, a tab has been added above for my Project 365 , another one of those 365 day photo projects that crazy teenagers with Nikons and some actual photographers do! It's a separate blog but it's linked to this one so you can always come safely back! :D I've done it once before, and I am confident that I can hang in there and do this again! On another side note, I'm proud to say that my best friend has told me that I inspired ...